Well I don't know what else to say besides I am extremely frustrated right now...
My mom is being a huge pain about all the wedding stuff and worst of all...she has not made peace with my fiance's parents over a fall out that happened back in February. It's really stressful because I want the day to be perfect and I don't want anything to go wrong...furthermore...I want my life to be happy and I don't want her standing in the way of that (which I am extremely scared about) My brother even said tonight that if something happens at the Rehearsal dinner or before the wedding he will walk out...nothing against me...but he hates drama and does not want any part of it...
I just feel stuck in the middle...whew...
The next thing is this whole job thing...so I turned down the job at Terra...and I didn't get offered the job at Adrian. So now what? I still have a few job applications out there but nothing that I am 100 % excited about. I would love to still be in res life but it is almost the end of the road for me for getting a position like that this year..
Akron has my application for a res life job and I really think I would enjoy it there...however...Greg is up in the air about it and he still has school (I really don't want to live apart our first year of marriage) but with this economy I don't know what to do...I need to be happy in a career too and if I was sitting in the apartment all day...I would not be happy...*Sigh*
I am really glad I found this outlet to be able to vent and talk about things that are bothering me because I feel like I can write out my emotions more than I can say them outloud...it helps me process...
that's all for now...too many tears...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
There is a lot going on right now in my life so I am hoping this Blog can be another way for me to be able to express my thoughts and feelings about everything...
I have always thought change was an exciting thing and have enjoyed all the changes in my that have happened so far but I have to admit...I am anxious as heck about the next big change in my life...Getting Married!
Sure...Everyone get's cold feet...but I don't think that is what I have! I have been having dreams...and it seems like in every single one of them I screw something up! I know I need to stop being a perfectionist all the time but it's hard not to be when you have been provided with a life like mine! Even in my dreams I have to be perfect!
It's a lot to live up to...a lot of expectations and a lot of standards not set by me to live up to! It gets old real fast! Now I am supposed to be a wife? How am I going to do well at everything? I know I am not going to be perfect...no one is...but I know I am going to try...(and that's the problem). If I feel like I fail at anything I get depressed because I feel like I have let everyone down (even if that's not the case).
Anyways...that is what is on my mind right now...just a lot of anxiety..So I have started this blog to hopefully help me out! Here's to hoping it helps!
I have always thought change was an exciting thing and have enjoyed all the changes in my that have happened so far but I have to admit...I am anxious as heck about the next big change in my life...Getting Married!
Sure...Everyone get's cold feet...but I don't think that is what I have! I have been having dreams...and it seems like in every single one of them I screw something up! I know I need to stop being a perfectionist all the time but it's hard not to be when you have been provided with a life like mine! Even in my dreams I have to be perfect!
It's a lot to live up to...a lot of expectations and a lot of standards not set by me to live up to! It gets old real fast! Now I am supposed to be a wife? How am I going to do well at everything? I know I am not going to be perfect...no one is...but I know I am going to try...(and that's the problem). If I feel like I fail at anything I get depressed because I feel like I have let everyone down (even if that's not the case).
Anyways...that is what is on my mind right now...just a lot of anxiety..So I have started this blog to hopefully help me out! Here's to hoping it helps!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)